Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Blog Party: Meet Kim, My Virtual Teacher

Kim is the founder of Modern B*A*G* Ladies. In a word, Kim is FUN. She is everything you'd want in a friend. Funny, giving, a great listener, a good teacher... It would take me at least ten blog entries to fill you in on all of the interesting information I've found through her. She makes me smile and she makes me think, but most of all she makes me believe that I can do anything I put my mind to, not in spite of, but especially because of the fact that I am a woman. I love Kim because she's REAL, and because she believes in me, in women everywhere. She is also an expert at sharing her joy and shredding fear. Here's what Kim has to say about WHY she does what she does:

Trust me. I know what it’s like keeping it inside, reserving the little fuel I had just for myself. If I raise a healthy, happy family, keep my house clean, pay my bills on time, I am surely doing my part to contribute to the world. My shyness was my security, protecting me from the fear of my own power. If I stepped into my power, I would be responsible for sharing it. I know I was a smart, capable lady, but most days I knew it wasn’t enough. I was expending my fuel for the sake of bought and borrowed beliefs. Somewhere along the way I was convinced that a girl, who didn’t go to college got married and had kids.

So, with one year of junior college under my belt I got married. My husband was self employed, so if I could bring home the security of paid health insurance, well that would be golden. That’s what I did. I put my head down and hunkered into what I thought was expected of me, a safe predictable life. It wasn’t a horrible life. January 1987, my 20 year old self was married. What does a 20 year know about marriage? Well we did go through the “marriage” classes the Catholic Church requires. It was all part of going through those predictable motions. I truly believed that I was in love. We had a son. I was emotionally immature.

I’ll spare you a snooze through the next 19 years of my life, so we’ll fast forward to January 2007. Here’s a recap: divorce, remarriage, 2 children, 8 houses (each more expensive than the next), promotions, debt, etc. From the outside looking it, I would say it all looked pretty normal and predictable. It wasn’t a horrible life. I was exhausted and empty inside. How could this be? I was reserving my fuel. I kept my house clean. I had a great job and we were paying our bills. I honestly thought I was supposed to feel this way.

January 2007 my body knocked me down. I had surgery and the 6 weeks of medical leave that followed allowed my safe predictable life to stop. I sat with myself and thought, “What now? Is this really all there is of me?” I can’t go back to the way it was.” I realized that I needed to strip myself of labels, expose my vulnerabilities and focus more on giving. It also meant I needed to seek out more fuel, open myself up and find other women to guide me. As it turns out, when I shared my fuel it became the most eco-friendly, renewable resource I have ever come to know. As I started to extend myself, the world extended itself back to me and in surprising ways. In its mysterious ways the world started to say “OH Yes” to me.

What would another woman see in me? What do I see in other women? I see me. I see you. This is why I do what I do. I believe women are more alike than they are different. I act by providing a platform for women to share their stories, inspiration and knowledge. I want women to go along their journeys with more understanding and willingness to support each other.

Let’s stand together and BELIEVE in each other. My story is far from over and together we will do amazing things. I am so grateful to know you and proud to stand with you. Thank you for allowing me to share a very small part of my story. Here is a past blog post that seems very fitting to share:

When I see you, I see me. I'm in awe. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're brave. I know you fart.

When I see you. I wonder how to be. That could be bad if that makes me feel less of me. Yes I doubt myself from time to time, but so do you. I know this to be true. When I see me. I see you.

The room is filled with 325 beautiful women. She has style. That one has grace. She can sing. Kelly and I exchange possum stories. Really? Yes really. Its amazing what will bind two complete strangers, so talk and listen. Kelly started a blog a day after we spoke. I love her for that. She has an amazing story. She has overcome so many things and she is making a difference in others' lives. Possum stories? Really? Yes really. I'll never forget Kelly.

Some think Twitter is a waste of time. I met Patti Digh (@pattidigh) via Danielle LaPorte (@daniellelaporte) on Twitter. Their rants, wisdom and love shared through this Twitter thing is part of my customized daily newspaper. There are some pretty cool dudes that find space on these pages as well. Patti says, "Sit the hell down and write." 10-4, Patti. That's what I am doing right now. Danielle says, "I no sooner want to be balanced than I want to be a 'good' girl. 'Balance' is not something I want to live down to." Now this is a good read for us busy, busy, busy, control freaks.

I did a vision board a year ago. Turning my intuition into visual art has resulted in me being awe struck. Click on this vision board link and get going on yours today. Inspire me. Please, please do. When I see you, I see me.

If I told you that I loved you, would you believe me? Believe me or not, I do. Why? Because I can and it makes me feel good. Hating, just sucks.

I know this seems like an odd ending, but you should never fake an orgasm or pretend to be someone you're not. The real you is awe inspiring. The beautiful. The ugly. The hurting. The loving. Don't' fake you. I won't fake me.


Lynn C. Tolson said...

It's good to get to know Kim. I've seen MBL around the internet, but this was my first chance to "see" the lady behind the logo! And, vision boards are great tools!

Dancing B*a*g Lady said...

Thank you Megan for giving me an opportunity to share. You reminded me about one of my ah ha moments. A very special lady I know, who took on a very aggressive project in our community, told me, "it was no so much the belief in myself, but the belief that others would want to help us and our cause."

Believing in someone else is a real gift. When that person shows they have the will to believe in themselves well it becomes that more powerful. I believe in you and thank you for believing in me. It means the world to me.

Shen said...

"don't fake you, I won't fake me"

That's awesome... and so hard to do. I hope I can be completely genuine one day. I've had to stop having sex for the last couple years... as I work through some things. I hope that when I go back to this part of my relationship with my husband I can do it honestly.

Meggs said...

Sometimes healing takes time. Trust in yourself and your ability to (eventually) reach out and trust the right people. I wish you nothing but the best as you pursue your working through. Blessings to you. =) Thank you for taking the time to stop by.

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