Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Meggs: Mighty Warrior Princess? Sure!
Are you able to use your sword yet or is it still stuck deep inside your gut, holding you back and keeping you immobilized in fear and shame?
"Finding Angela Shelton" - Day Twenty...
Today's task: 20 minutes of SWORDPLAY!
After yesterday's time of sadness, today I was ready to release some of the tension I had built up and face some of the fears that come from knowing I'm a wee bit vulnerable right now... and you know what? Today was awesome. Today was empowering. Today gave me more energy to keep fighting, to keep healing. It certainly made me feel STRONG and MIGHTY and in control!
My boys are home from school today because of the snow, so we did this task together. Together, we stood in the living room, swords in hand, ready for battle. Together, we yelled and shouted and poked and swatted and stabbed and sliced at pillows we had perched on the couch. We pretended that each pillow was something we were afraid of and we pretended our swords were magical and wonderful things that had the power to make those frightful foes disappear. We kicked some plushy pillow butt if I do say so myself!
Speaking of kicking butt... so many of you tell me how much you admire me and how strong I am. Let me remind you that you are talking to the girl who used to literally burn herself and beat the living crap out of herself on a daily basis. I am the girl who used to take scalding hot showers because she thought the scum she was covered in wasn't ever going to wash away. I am the girl who took pills to sleep her life away, the girl who's spent more than a few nights in the psych ward. I haven't always been as strong as I am today. It's taken time, and it's taken help. The help of friends. The help of family. The help of professionals. If you're still not able to move beyond the pain, hang in there. Hang in there, but remember that this is a choice. You can't expect things get better if you're not taking the steps to make them better. If you're still stuck in the trauma, the only difference between you and me is that I asked for help, and I'm not a bit ashamed of that. Why should you be?
Make the choice to forge ahead with your healing. I did. And I will never regret it or apologize for it, because I am THRIVING like nobody's business and I am PROUD of the warrior I've become. Yup. I said it. I'm proud of myself. I should be. I'd love to see you become proud of yourself too. Toot your own horn every now and then. A survivor is a survivor is a survivor, and if you're reading my blog, chances are that's exactly what you are! You deserve some recognition for making it another day. I AM PROUD OF YOU! I am proud of you. I am proud of you. I am proud of you.
I
AM
PROUD
OF
YOU
!!!
Are you gettin' me here? You're still alive. That alone deserves some applause! Seriously! YOU are strong. YOU are brave. YOU are mighty. YES YOU ARE! Find your voice and use your sword. Heal. Show others it's possible. The reward you will receive is indescribable. The joy you will find is immeasurable. And the people you will meet are unforgettable... because their stories become a part of yours. And you'll love them for it.
I love you all. And don't you forget it. Thank you for being a part of my story!
So until next time... happy healing!
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7 comments:
Megan, I can feel your power, Mighty Warrior Princess! I can picture you and your Warrior Sons vanquishing those pillows. Hurray for surviving and thriving! Thanks for continuing to take strides forward. Others are following. You, for all of your less cheerful moments, are proof that healing is possible. Look at you now. You're getting there!
dont know why i stopped by again to check ur site out but i did. and im glad i did. cause i feel a bit better now that i read this post. was feeling like poop again after yet another failed attempt at therapy this morning. another session of just hanging in the waiting room cause too scared to go in her office. its very frustrating.. but i did try! i am trying to fix this.. and i will try again : )
oops.. forgot to say thanks! ur words helped again!!
many thanks!! be happy : )
To one of my favorite Warrior Princesses! I can see it clearly in my head....you and the kids slaying fears (masquerading as pillows) You are amazing.
You reminded me of that praise and worship song (and I can't think of the name of it right now) where the bridge says "I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive"....there has been so many times when I hear that song and just marvel and praise the Lord that I have made it this far. Just for the fact that I am alive. That I am healing and thriving! That I live in Joy and not trauma.
On a totally unrelated subject....I have to ask, are those Terry Goodkind books on the shelf behind the kids?
I was singing this song today and my daughter helped by telling me that it is You Alone and a Passion Song.
Thanks, everybody! I am planning on making this a regular part of my life. Since I have two little boys, it will be fun to get those swords out every now and then and just let it go. It's interesting how easy it becomes to get lost in the moment of slaying your fears. =) Tracie, yes, those are Terry Goodkind books - it's the Sword of Truth series. I've read a couple of them but Hubby's a big fantasy fan, so he's read them all. He averages two books a week. Read, read, read... read and work, that's all the man does. lol
I've read all of them...I'm a big reader (I usually do two to three books a week) my husband is not a big reader, but he is working his way through this series. When I saw them in your picture, I had one of those random moments where I thought I know what those books are! Lol
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