Alyssa Bentley Makes it Happen - Do You?

Recording Artist Alyssa Bentley
at LA Fashion Week
Photo by Thomas Connors*

I went to school with a girl named Alyssa who had the voice of an angel. She was beautiful and she could sing. We choir kids talked about how Alyssa would be famous one day. I didn't get the chance to hang out with Alyssa when we were in school together (she was several years younger than me) but I do remember her as a sweet and talented girl who smiled often and sang her heart out when given the chance.

Look at her now!

All these years later, Alyssa's still singing her heart out. She's been on the road to making her dreams come true for a while now. Recently I listened to an interview she did with WSJU Radio. I was so impressed by her willingness to talk about how she had to work hard to get to where she is today. She talked about coming from a family full of musical talent and being raised by a daddy who taught her the value of hard work. She spoke of being very aware of the kind of people she surrounds herself with. She does her best to be sure that she's working with people who share her vision, people she can trust. Alyssa has a goal, and she's not just sitting around waiting for her goal to realize itself. She's definitely dreaming big, but she doesn't stop at the dream. She's working. She's reaching. She's getting out there and singing, doing shows, writing songs, getting studio time in, promoting her tunes, surrounding herself with people who support her (a BIG key to realizing your dreams)... and she just released her first music video! That's right. Today is the world premiere of Alyssa Bentley's video "Brand New Girl" at www.AlyssaBentley.com! Go, Alyssa, go!




Alyssa Bentley makes it happen. Her secret (besides the fact that there's an abundance of my favorite magical color in this video - which my regular readers will recognize as as a must for any successful joy-filled dream fulfillment) is hard work and a love for what she does. I've had a few dreams in the last year or so. I've made them happen. You can read a little about that by clicking here. Alyssa Bentley can do it. I can do it. You can do it too.

So I have a couple of questions for you:

What is your dream? 

Are you working to realize it?

I'd love to see some discussion in the comments section about your dreams. Until next time... may you be blessed - and inspired to pass it on!

*Used with permission. See more of Thomas Connors' photography at www.waveguider.com

Happy Birthiversary to Us!

This is what I had for breakfast. I'm celebrating today!

Today is a very special day. Today is the birthiversary (I can't decide if it's a birthday or an anniversary or both) of the support group known as "The Mack Group" - We Support Mackenzie Phillips & ALL Survivors Speaking Out Against Abuse. If you're not familiar with the support group click here to read a little blog about it. If you're already a member of the group, be sure to stop by today to see what's happening on the Wall and the Discussions. Some of us are having our own personal mini-parties to celebrate our journey together and may be posting thoughts and photos as we go. If you're interested in becoming a member of our support group you may visit the link on Facebook and request to become a member. (There are some group guidelines, so be sure to read them carefully before joining.) In celebration of our birthiversary, I want to share with you my personal top ten list of things I've learned by being a part of the group:

10. Sharing my story of survival is empowering.

9. Resources for survivors are everywhere and sharing the great resources I've found is an encouraging way to help others find what they need to heal.

8. Moving on and letting go of the past is scary but I can do it.

7. I am not the only person in the world who's struggled with horrendous coping mechanisms.

6. I am definitely not alone.

5. Setbacks suck, but they don't suck nearly as bad when you have somebody cheering you on as you struggle to get back up again.

4. Blood may be thicker than water, but it's not thicker than the tears you've shed with your fellow survivors. I can choose my family.

3. Grace and forgiveness are beautiful things.

2. Thanksgiving is not a holiday, it's a state of mind.

1. I am loved.

Our Support Group's Logo

 

Are you already a part of our group? What have you learned in the last year? In the comments section of this blog, share your own top ten... or your own number one... or just your thoughts. How has "The Mack Group" changed you?

Getting Down to Business Part Deux

"I fall back on this journal just as some other poor devil takes to drink." -Barbellion (pen name of Bruce Frederick Cummings)

"Finding Angela Shelton" - Day Twenty-five...


Well here we are at Day 25... five days left in this amazing journey. I only wish I had the ability to spill into this blog the thoughts and emotions that are swimming around in my head. It would, no doubt, take an entire series of books to explain to you the transformation that has been taking place in my mind over the last nine months. One volume of that series would have to be solely dedicated to these 30-plus days of healing techniques and self-exploration. I dare say that any person who is willing to follow through with this experiment, this change, is brave enough and strong enough to face (and conquer) any giant in their life if they will only resolve to carry in their hearts and minds the plethora of knowledge that is gained in the carrying out of each daily task. I don't know what got me to the point of being ready to accept the sheer amount of dedication and hard work it would take to heal, but I can tell you that every painstaking moment of getting to today has been worth the pain and suffering. Any woman who has ever given birth will understand exactly what I mean when I say that. I have, in some way, given birth to a new life. There has been such a transformation in my soul. I truly feel like I am becoming the person I was meant to be.

Today's task was very involved. I was asked to write about what I want out of life, what I don't like about my life, things that have changed since Day One, and thoughts about how I am moving from pain and suffering into the life I want for myself. I am thoroughly convinced that writing things down in order to gain perspective on your healing process is essential. Personally, I have never known someone who's experienced a significant level of healing without writing about their issues in some way, shape or form.

I ended up with six pages of elaboration on the business plan that was created yesterday. These six pages of my journal are so full of information that it would just be ridiculous for me to try to share them with you 100%, so I've chosen a few highlights to give you a glimpse into the reality of what can happen when we truly let go of our hangups and work our way through the pain:

*I want my children and my husband to be proud of me. I want people to see Jesus when they examine my life. I want to be genuine and I want to be able to extend to myself the grace and forgiveness that I give to others. I want to embrace mistakes and failures as lessons in life, rather than beating myself up over things I may have done differently.

*There's not really a whole lot about my life that I don't like right now. I could stand to work harder at being physically healthy, like working more toward giving up overeating and stressing over things I can't control. I need to stop apologizing for things that have nothing to do with me.

*There has been a significant improvement in the way I feel about the things that had me "stuck" on Day One. I have seen a positive change in every single area I listed as a problem area. Some of the changes have been more significant than others, but there is no denying that change for the better is happening in my life.

*I am letting go of irrational fears. I'm educating myself. I am letting go of people-pleasing habits. I'm letting go of the lies I've told myself for so many years. I am accepting compliments and realizing that there are times when I really do deserve them. I am seeing true beauty when I look at myself. I am doing something every day to remind myself that I am here, in the present, and I am doing my best to make the most of it. I am moving from feeling lonely to feeling loved. I'm playing and encouraging myself to do child-like things sometimes because I recognize the need for fun in my life. I am processing my fears when I feel them. I am letting go of worries and focusing on things I can do in the present moment.

I would encourage you to let go of any preconceived notions of what this whole "journey" is about, and to try it for yourself if you haven't done so already. I'm pretty sure I've asked this question before, but what do you have to lose? A therapist once taught me an exercise to help me get past worries and fears about the future. In the exercise, I was to take my "what if" statement and turn it around into a "what if not" statement. Here's an example:

Worry/Thought: What if I die in a car accident while I'm driving into town to visit a friend today?

The result of what would likely happen if I die in a car accident today: My family will be devastated, my children will be left without a mother, etc...

Counter Thought: What if I DON'T die in a car accident while I'm driving into town to see my friend today?

The result of what would likely happen if I DON'T die in a car accident today: I'll see my friend, we'll probably have a great time visiting with each other, I'll feel refreshed because I'll be taking time to do something for myself, etc.

Which result is LOGICALLY most likely? Well, statistics show that most people who ride around in their cars do not die in accidents. While some people do die in car wrecks, statistically speaking, I'm more likely to be safe and sound at the end of the day.

What will I do with this information? I will choose to go to town to see my friend, because statistics prove that I will most likely NOT be involved in an accident.

Here's my challenge to you... Get out a piece of paper... now... write this stuff down! What are your thoughts about healing? What will happen if you don't heal? What will happen if you DO heal? What are some logical and illogical thoughts about the process? Have you seen others heal successfully? What if you're not successful?

What if you ARE successful?

Most importantly, what are you going to do with this information? What if you are successful? What do you stand to gain?

Getting Down to Business

"You can't overestimate the need to plan and prepare. In most of the mistakes I've made, there has been this common theme of inadequate planning beforehand. You really can't over-prepare in business!" -Chris Corrigan

"Finding Angela Shelton" - Day Twenty-four...



Today's task: "Make a business plan for your life... Read the 10 things you wrote down in the beginning. On a new sheet of paper write out a plan (even if you think it is crazy) about how to move from one side of the list to the affirmation list."

Oooooh, if I could only tell you how much I loved today's instructions. I am such a planner and I love business. A business plan for my life? YES! Hooray! A goal is more often realized when the person who sets it has a plan of action. Knowing that made this task really, really appealing to me. I want to succeed in life... why not make a plan?

I sat down in my "office" (yup, my sectional couch is my office - haha!) and scribbled this one out in no time. All I had to do was write down a few details of the actions I need to take in order to realize the affirmations/goals I wrote down on Day Three.

Here's what I came up with:

#1 Brave, Courageous, Strong = Keep speaking out and find opportunities to get more involved on a local level.

#2 Healthy Relationships = Spend more time doing things to nurture healthy relationships. Make a commitment to hang out with someone at least once a month.

#3 True to Self = Remember that it's okay to stand up for what I believe in... and do my best to do just that.

#4 Take Care of Myself = Eat when I'm hungry. Stop when I'm full. Move more and do things to nurture my SELF.

#5 My Place in the World = Continue to walk in the direction God leads and remember why I'm here.

#6 I'm Not Alone = Continue to be a part of a community of supportive people. Examples: Support Group, Church Family.

#7 Boundaries = Set healthy boundaries by constantly self-checking and evaluating relationships and responsibilities.

#8 Play! = Spend time doing things I love. Strive to live in the moment. Don't be ashamed of doing "child-like things" in order to process emotions. Let loose and smile about LIFE as often as possible.

#9 Nightmares = Do everything I know how to do to remember that the past is the past and that nightmares give me an opportunity to address suppressed feelings... feel them and let them go.

#10 Relax! = When I feel myself getting frazzled, take time to use breathing techniques and relax as often as possible. Remember there is nothing wrong with RELAXING!

I know a few of you reading this are "regulars" and I would love to have your take on my business plan. Brainstorming is a good thing, and you guys/gals may have some ideas that I didn't think of. Feel free to comment about ways you might help me improve or elaborate on my plan. I'd love to have the input! We're getting so close to the end of the "30-Day" leg of my journey, and I'd also love to have some suggestions on things you'd like to see happening with my blog after the "Joy Journey" is through!

I'm kind of excited to see what tomorrow holds... I love being able to say that and mean it!

Happy healing!

Visions of Joy

"A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more." - Rosabeth M. Kanter

"Finding Angela Shelton" - Day Twenty-two...

I did Day 22's task yesterday, but due to the snow, snow and more snow, I've had some issues getting here to post about it. This morning, Hubby and I woke up to find our pipes frozen and I'm a little worn out, but I'm moving right along on the joy journey.

I was instructed to complete a piece of art for this task... something that reflects what my life will look like when it's "away from pain and suffering" and full of joy. I chose to do this by making a collage from magazine clippings and personal photos, etc. The collage is very personal to me and I've decided to keep this one to myself... I know, I know... everything else I've done has been so transparent, but this is one piece of the puzzle I'd like to keep under wraps for now. I might reveal it later on in the blogs. Who knows?

Something I noticed while I was making my collage: looking at the things I chose to represent my joyful future was relaxing, inspiring, and exciting all at the same time. Knowing that I am moving toward the realization of those depictions and descriptions of unadulterated joy and happiness just did something for my soul. Even if you're not actually taking the joy journey right now, I would love to challenge you to try this exercise and see how it makes you feel. It left me with a sense of hope and a renewed sense of purpose. It left me with joy. Imagine that!


Today as I'm doing the dishes, folding the laundry and keeping the kids occupied while they whine themselves into a frenzy about dealing with another snow day, I'll have my "joy collage" nearby... and when things start to feel a little overwhelming, I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath and smile... because I know that as long as I keep making the choice to heal, there's no WAY that joyous future will elude me. In many ways, I'm already there.

Hitting the Proverbial Jackpot

"I dream my paintings and then I paint my dreams." - Vincent Van Gogh

"Finding Angela Shelton" - Day Twenty-one...

The task for Day 21: start a dream journal.

I actually completed this task yesterday. For those of you who don't know, I live in a rural area. When it snows here, I am STUCK. Stuck with a capital "S" - for real! Well, it's been snowing for a few days now and I don't have any blankbooks or notebooks just lying around. I couldn't get out yesterday to go buy myself something to use as a dream journal, so I turned my house upside down to find materials I could use to make one. After gathering a hodgepodge of stuff, this is what I came up with:


That's five yards of packing tape, 45 reinforcement labels, 25 heart stickers left over from last year's Valentines Day projects, one yard of leftover Christmas ribbon, one sheet of my son's origami paper, and 70 sheets of colored copier paper. A girls' gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? I've said it before and I'll say it again... I'm committed to this joy journey and I was not about to let a little thing like being snowed in keep me from completing this task. I felt so resourceful after pulling this one out of nowhere!

Since I was a child, I have literally dreamed about helping others who have been through hard times. I've done many things to try to realize those childhood dreams. I've taught Sunday School, volunteered for special needs kids, lead youth groups and taken in friends and family who were in need of a place to stay. It's all been very fulfilling. And it seems the more I'm able to help people, the more people I want to help. My dreams are still basically the same as they were when I was a kid... I still want to do the best I can to make a difference in the lives of others.

My most recent "help" dreams began somewhere around October of 2009. As I watched my accidental support group evolve and grow into the beautiful flourishing thing that it is now, I noticed that I was having dreams again. Not just any kind of dreams, but the kind of dreams that stir your soul upon waking, the kind of dreams that make you want to hop out of bed and get busy with making them come true. One of the dreams I had in early December 2009, I will never forget. In the dream, I was contacted by Ms. Angela Shelton via email. In the dream, she asked me to be a contributor to Survivor Manual. Survivor Manual is a website that was created in order to bring together a multitude of people and resources and information to help survivors lead joyful lives. This dream inspired me to set three specific goals for 2010. The goals? 1) Be a contributor to Survivor Manual in some capacity, 2) Be listed in the "Survivor Blogs" section of Survivor Manual, and 3) Start sharing my story on other sites in order to make more people aware of the Angela Shelton Foundation and the 30-Day Healing Journey.

I had no idea these goals would be realized within the first week of 2010! I feel like I won the lottery! Here's how it happened:

Social Networking! I tweeted about my first "vlog" and Angela Shelton gave me the best surprise ever... she added the video and a bit of my story to Survivor Manual! Then she added my blog link to the list of Survivor Blogs. What?! Yup! TWO dreams/goals come true in one fell swoop! As a result of the Survivor Manual feature, we have gotten some new members in the facebook support group, and I've gotten a few really great messages of support from survivors I didn't know before. Along with the feature on Survivor Manual, there have been other opportunities... more sites and blogs highlighting my story, and some proposals I'm not ready to talk about because I just don't know what's going to happen with them. ALL THREE GOALS FOR 2010 are ALREADY realized!

If I can make my dreams come true, so can you! But it didn't just happen. I have poured my heart and soul into this little purpose of mine. I feel like God lends us a great big helping hand when we step out in faith and do what we feel like He has created us to do. I really believe this is what I was born to do, to show people that they can HEAL and have JOY in their lives in spite of their past experiences and present circumstances.

I firmly believe we all have our own unique purpose in this world. What do you feel like you were born to do? Are you a painter, a writer, a helper, a healer, a homemaker, a crafty diva? Are you taking steps to realize your dreams? Are you painting, writing, helping, healing, filling your home with love, creating wonderful things to share with the world? What are your dreams? Do you want to exhibit your work, get published, start a nonprofit, redecorate your house, start a business? Do you have dreams? Don't deny them. Make them happen! You have to play the lottery if you want to win the jackpot... you get me?

Consider starting a dream journal of your own and see where your dreams take you! They just might give you the fuel you need to get your show on the road!