Saturday, February 06, 2010
You Are Not Alone, Anya's Story (Blog-a-thon Post 13)
Anya wants you to know you are not alone. Here's what she has to say:
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by my uncle, both parents, and eventually, my brother. I grew up in an organized sex trafficking/child pornography ring, and from the ages of approximately six to ten, was forced to perform [sexual acts] for money (that I of course, I was never allowed to have/spend). Additionally, much of my abuse was satanic ritual abuse (SRA), creating additional obstacles to overcome internally. When I was older, I began working for a pimp (who I thought was my girlfriend), and continued in the life for some years after. After myriad abusive teenage relationships, I found myself magically aligned with the most wonderful man--who consciously and not, encouraged my self care and made attempts at healing significantly easier. Additionally, I began to find friends that had my best interests in mind, shifting my own self-doubt to a place of open-mindedness and even acceptance, regarding my history. At 15, I was brutally raped by a stranger at a high school/college party. I became pregnant, but was only aware after I'd miscarried. At 16, I was raped again by a "client". After increasingly distancing myself from my family, I began to allow myself to heal, although slowly at first. I'd begun the journey toward healing, and I'd begun to ask valued people in my life for help. However, in 2008, I was raped by a classmate, which eventually forced me to realize I was in desperate need of transparency, resources and professional help. I had just started therapy, but promised myself I'd continue, even though recovery seemed impossible. Since, I've been blessed with many people -- my partner, therapists and friends, all who wish me well. And while there are days I don't believe that I deserve one ounce of generosity, in large part, I have learned that the world can be kind.
The [online support] group has inspired me greatly. After seeing the public's response to Mackenzie's story, and seeing my own story glaring back at me, I found a great deal of solace in recognizing that none of us is ever alone. Even in the most impossibly paralyzing moments, we are, day in and day out, part of a strong and indestructible community of survivors. The group [is] proof that we are larger than what has happened to us.
The painting that accompanies Anya's story is one of her own creation. Copyright 2009 Anya le Dire, used with permission. (Thanks, Anya!)
Stay tuned for even more stories of support and strength in numbers... online resources are invaluable, and that is why I'm working so hard to bring attention to what's available for survivors.
Watch the live UStream broadcast of this blog-a-thon by clicking here.